For years now I've asked God to show me what hope looks like. To please, oh please give me something to do that feels like hope when my life is being buffeted by sorrow and hard and disappointment and the future looks like more of the same.
Last week, while Ava was in the hospital, (ironically, the evening after i posted about God's recent provision) I listened to a sermon on the power of thankfulness by Bill Johnson and God used his words to give me handles for what hope is right now.
Speaking about the account of Jesus thanking the Father before feeding the 5000 in John 6, Pastor Johnson said,
"Sometimes, when the need is so great, and God's provision is incremental, thankfulness is actually an act of faith."
Tonight, I am thankful for my family, separated as we are. Four amazing little girls, one incredible husband. Miss M is with our sleeping ones, and i'm here with Ava while Matt catches up at work for a few hours. Ava's seizures are, for now, quiet, and she's sleeping peacefully. We are not where we want to be, but God is taking care of us here. My hope is thankfulness as an act of faith.
Ava will stay overnight in the hospital to ensure her med levels remain as high as they need to be in order to keep her from seizing. Our plans for a California Christmas seem all but impossible. But in eight days, regardless of where we are, our little family will celebrate the reality that the One who created us, came to live with us. Christmas is coming and because He came, we still have hope!