Blog Archive

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

God is rewriting our story again. As much as I would love to feel blissfully happy, excited and super-spiritual right now, the truth is, I'm not.

I'm sad.

I'm tired.

I liked my story. It was filled with my dreams and hopes. Good dreams. Dreams that involved nurturing my daughters by nursing them, staying home to raise them, exploring our world together, home-educating them. It was important to me. It gave me a little feeling of stability. Stability that comes from planning and hoping for something...something that I thought might work out. After all, I look around and lots of people get to make plans and have them work out. He whispers ", follow me". And I drag my feet. I don't feel excited. The enemy whispers, "This is probably going to be hard. This will probably hurt." And I can't disagree. But then, we've had nearly six years to see his faiththfulness in the hard and hurting times.

The root of my hesitation is that His faithfulness doesn't always make our life easy. God doesn't always swoop in like we think He should. He keeps our feet from slipping, but He doesn't always smooth the path. And then sometimes our feet do slip, and He catches us when we fall.

The mercy in this moment is that in spite of everything, we know in our core that God is good. He is faithfully weaving His plans for our lives and no matter what, no matter where, He will be present, and His grace will be sufficient. But there is and will no doubt still be pain, and sorrow and loss. Our only hope is in His assurance that somehow that too will be used for His glory. Slowly, moment by moment, that becomes the aim...His Glory.

These lives we offered up and He really took us at our word. We're matter the cost.

Many of you write and share your stories saying, "But that's nothing compared to what you're going through"...and while that's natural, it's not true! It's everything! Matt always says, "Your biggest thing, is the biggest thing." It's your opportunity to take your hurt, your disappointment and offer it up to God, refusing to attack His character and His heart, choosing instead to believe.

Matt and I are choosing to see this pain as a gift, either sifted through or directly from the hand of a loving Father. It presses us into Him, frees us from idolizing our comfort, and forces loose our stranglehold on our script, so He can take the pen and write a new storyline, with HIM at the center. We choose to yield to it, let it accomplish its work in us and bless His name.


nichole said...

This. is. amazing Sara. Your heart is so distinctly yours in this writing yet, I see myself too. Thank you and Matt so much for truly sharing your experiences and thoughts.

Sara said...

Thank you Nichole. We are believing God with you today too.

Suzie said...



Abby said...

I was just thinking that if it you hadn't started this blog more than six years ago, I would never have known what an amazing writer you are. Thanks for taking the time in the midst of your insanity to write such honest, thoughtful posts that are a blessing to all who read them. I agree with your mom; you are my hero too. :)

Christine said...

Today, I was reading this blog ( found a child with cerebral palsy-type symptoms outside their maternity clinic. His mother had abandoned him. And all I could think was how thankful I am that sweet Ava has you for her mama...someone to show her the love of Christ and hold her every day and tell her how wonderful she is. He knew what He was doing when He gave her to you. I know you have a lot on your plate...okay, that's an understatement. But I also know that as you lean on God, lean into Him, He'll give you everything you need. We're praying for you.

Dave, Lisette, Joshua, Colin and Shane said...

Wow, Sara. Thank you for showing your vulnerability, strength, faith, hope and love. You all are an amazing family! Lots of love and prayers coming your way.

Elissa said...

Oh Job, I mean Sara, I am just now catching up on what's been going on! Oy! And yet you are able to praise your mighty God, creator of your amazing little girls and Author of your life. That alone glorifies Him, but I know there's more, and I'm so grateful that you write this blog so we can see what it will be.

And sigh.... I wish i felt bad about sending my kid off to public school next week....but I can't wait!! :) Hope and Elizabeth will be lights in their schools, and God knew all along He'd use them there.

Speaking of Hope, I have soooooo much hope for Ava. Many kids with CP are adopted from China and I have been so blessed by watching how they flourish in their families. Can't wait to watch Ava come home to her family! We will be praying for the transition.

Lots of love,