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Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thank you for your prayers for Elizabeth. We've had follow up appointments this week and are still sorting through her symptoms and praying for discernment. By God's grace, and with a little help from the iPad, her cardiology appointment yesterday went beautifully. For those who are new to the blog, Elizabeth had heart surgery when she was three days old to repair a coarctation of her aorta. She still has mitral valve stenosis and a bicuspid aortic valve, but we can monitor those and now we're just seeing cardiology once a year! Amazing. She still HATES echocardiograms and ultrasounds (two tests that don't hurt! go figure.), but the iPad was distracting enough and after some stress at the beginning she was able to tolerate the rest of the echo. Her follow up with GI left us with some decisions to make and we need wisdom!

The bottom line is, Elizabeth is not very healthy nor is she developmentally "typical". Additionally, she's on eight different medications, and some of them create symptoms that aren't entirely great...sooo, our job at any given point, is to figure out if what we're seeing is medication induced, an indication that her body isn't well (both of which we might mean tinkering with meds or exploring new treatments)...or simply further indicators that her development is "on a different track". Then, if it is behavioral, do we try to modify her behavior?? Or do we accept her where she is and find ways as a family to work around the new stuff. Sigh. Clearly we need prayers!!

In the middle of this, the Lord continues to show me that He created our family. He created each member and us as a unit and He has good plans for us! So my daily task is to live right now, in His grace, and believe He can make this messy life we're living beautiful...and truth be told, it IS beautiful. What appears to us to be broken, frustrating and in reality our calling, our ministry, our life...just how He planned it so we would need Him moment by moment and He could supply everything we need.

But many moments these days, I am impatient and selfish. I want my three year old to act like a 10 year old and I'd like ALL the princesses in our castle to sleep a little more! Aaaaahhhh, I need grace, patience and gentleness with my little ones. We're all in a holding pattern...

Waiting is hard. The in-between is awkward. Longing is painful.

...and yet this too is by God's design! He's not waiting till my life settles down to get involved! He's here, right now, at work, completing the good work He has started. Today, I choose to live like I believe.

I would have despaired, unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and let your heart take courage.
Yes, wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

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