It was June of 2005. I stood in a sea of attendees at a conference to equip church worship leaders. The conference had been a mix of new insights and powerful encouragement, as well as painful moments of feeling isolated and alone, having only recently received the diagnosis for the baby I was still carrying. I smiled when people congratulated me on my bulging belly and wished with all my heart my feelings about the future were only filled with hope.
I stood in the last conference session on the final day when the words floated out to me and I was undone.
I was sure by now,
that you would have reached down and wiped our tears away
stepped in and saved the day
but once again, I say "Amen," and its still raining.
As the thunder rolls,
I gently hear you whisper through the rain, "I am with you."
And as your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.
For the first time, I had a way to worship IN and THROUGH my pain and not in spite of my broken heart. As the music played I felt free to run to God with my sorrow over Elizabeth's diagnosis and let him meet me where I fell. Matt and I listened to that song dozens of times in the next days and months and it was a lifeline between God and me during some of the darkest moments of my life.
Lamentations
Songs which enable me to express my full range of grief, sorrow and despair in the safety of surrender to a loving and sovereign God.
They remain an integral part of my worship to this day and I am indebted to the artists who have shared their personal struggles through music and lyrics, giving us language for the days when there simply are no words.
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I know some of you have walked your own painful journeys. These are a few of the songs that have rescued me from despair time and time again. All are available on iTunes and many can be viewed on YouTube. If you have favorites of your own, we'd be so grateful if you would leave a comment and share.
Praise You In This Storm ~ Casting Crowns
When the Tears Fall ~ Newsboys
Lord I Run to You ~ Tommy Walker
Desert Song ~ Hillsong United
Blessed Be Your Name ~ Matt Redman
Part the Waters/I Need The Every Hour ~ Selah
Show Me Your Face ~ Brian Johnson
Gratitude ~ Nichole Nordeman
I Bless Your Name ~ Selah
Held ~ Natalie Grant
All My Praise ~ Selah
Your Hands ~ JJ Heller
You Are Sovereign Here ~ Stephen Miller
12 comments:
I don't think I had ever heard the story of how you found that song. The Praise Through the Storm CD you gave us a few years ago is by far my favorite worship CD. Thank you for that, and for sharing your heart. Love you.
River God - Nichole Nordeman
Altar - Nichole Nordeman
Peace - Jennifer Knapp
When Nothing Satisfies You - Jennifer Knapp
For the Good - Shane and Shane
Oh Great Light of the World - Bebo Norman
If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens
Can You Hear Me - Cindy Morgan
And still singing...
He's Always Been Faithful - Sarah Groves
I have the perfect song for us. I listened to it every day when we would drive the hour drive to see our daughter It's called strong enough by Matthew west. Here is a sample
"you must you must think I'm strong to give me what I'm going through forgive me forgive me if I'm wrong but this looks like more than I can do on my own...................
Lord right now I'm asking you to be strong enough strong enough
Cause I am broken down to nothing but I'm still holding on to the one thing you are God and you are strong when I am weak. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength and I don't have to be strong enough
That song got me through so much!!! Hope you can add it to your list!
You're not alone - Meredith Andrews
Hallelulah - Heather William (please read her story behind this song if you have a minute)
God I look to you - Jenn Johnson (Bethel) (this song has CARRIED me)
Be still - Storyside B
Blessings - Laura Story
Take Heart - Hillsong United
We are all standing in the gap for you all!!!
If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens
My Life is In Your Hands - Kirk Franklin
Jesus Loves Me - Edwin McCain
He Will Make a Way - Kathy Troccoli
Moving Forward - Free Chapel
You Said - Hillsong
We Have Overcome - Joel Osteen & Lakewood Church
Healer - Hillsong
I Smile - Kirk Franklin
Unrelenting Love - Susan Ashton (Experiencing God)
I Still Believe - Crystal Lewis
Held was one of the songs we had sung at our Louis' memorial service. I too have found that songs can comfort and speak truth into my pain better than almost anything else. Praise you through the Storm will forever be related in my mind to the drives to visit Elizabeth in the hospital in Nov 05. Thanks for the list of songs - I don't have much easy access to new sources for songs.
Just started receiving updates from you. Met once at the play ground. We went to The Journey before moving out of town. Praying.
Angel Doves, Mindy Smith
Blessings and Held -
Praying for your family and the medical team....and sharing this with friends and praye warriors who will lift you to our Lord!
I remember you telling me about this song after my dad passed away and it was such a blessing to me! Your heart for our God is so sweet, pure, honest and beautiful...thank you friend for letting us in to see a glimpse of it. And thankful that our sweet Father meets us right where we are and loves us like crazy. Love you dearly!
The Valley Song - Jars of Clay
If You Want Me To - Ginny Owens
Blessings - Laura Story
Holding You - Matt Hammit
Unredeemed - Selah
You Never Let Go - Matt Redman
Forever Reign - One Sonic Society
Full Attention - Jeremy Riddle
In the Valley - Sovereign Grace
Out of the Depths - Sovereign Grace
Continuing to pray for you guys regularly... Love from Salem.
Blessed Be Your Name really held me up during our long wait for our first children. "Let the Waters Rise" (Mikeschair) carried me through this last adoption, and often through the current day-to-day chaos. ;)
Thank you all for sharing these songs and your solidarity! I have many of them and it's a good reminder to dig them out of the archives and add them to my playlist. I'm also so grateful for the new ones. It blesses me to know they carried you through trials. I'm indebted.
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