Wanna help?

For a number of years now I've wanted to post about the things friends have said or done which have been particularly helpful to us as on our journey through Elizabeth's diagnosis. (And, to be honest, the things I wish I could have asked for, or expressed, but couldn't) This series of posts says everything I would want to communicate.

How to help a grieving friend

Thanks Kendra for posting this link!

Overheard

After toppling to the floor in her efforts to do gymnastics on Mommy's ever shrinking lap:

Daddy: What happened?

Ruby (in tears): I bonked my head!

Daddy: Why?

Ruby (with fresh sobs): Because Mommy's not a jungle gym!

Sifted Circumstances

"There is no circumstance, no trouble, no testing, that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has gone past God and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose, which I may not understand at the moment. But I refuse to become panicky, as I lift up my eyes to Him and accept it as coming from the throne of God for some great purpose of blessing to my own heart." -Alan Redpath

Changed

For a long time now I've been wanting to post a link to one of my favorite resources. The book is Changed By A Child: Companion notes for parents of a child with a disability. If you know someone who has recently received a diagnosis, I would encourage you to send this book to them....it has been a tremendous gift to me.  I regularly come across an entry that I want to send to everyone I know and say, "THIS is exactly how I feel." "This is EXACTLY how my life is"...This book has been so validating during the ups and downs of the journey over the past 4 1/2 years.

Case in point: After a particularly exhausting week of Matt being gone and feeling the weight of a new diagnosis for Elizabeth, I read this entry on page 278:

"Too Complicated

Vinetta sighed. Life was so complicated now. She had never reckoned on life being complicated. It was like knitting on a dozen different needles. ~Sylvia Waugh

Life withour kids is complicated. The disability itself is complicated. Our emotional responses are intense and contradictory. The medical issues are complex; the technology our children use is intricate. Filling out a medical assistance form is tricky, as is figuring out the special education system. Hunting for resources can be an experience in maze walking.

Then there are the multiple filters we have to run everything through. Our kid leaves for school happy and comes home irritable and belligerent. Is it physical: Is she constipated? Are her new shoes to tight? Or is it medical: Did we forget the medication today? Is she getting an ear infection? Or is it environmental: Did the teacher assign new seats? Is it frustration? Is she tired of not being understood when she speaks? Or is it just a mood, just being a kid.

Then of course there is all the rest of life--our other kids, our relationships, our job, what to have for supper, how to kill the crabgrass, when/if to take our vacation. We are knitting on at least a dozen needles. It is complicated and it is hard. But we do it. We drop a lot of stitches but we knit our lives. And what interesting, varicolored, unique garments they turn out to be."

Elizabeth's Audiogram

We got all the information we needed from Elizabeth's ear-specific audiogram this week. Unfortunately, it revealed she has mild hearing loss in her right ear and significant hearing loss in her left ear. The next step will be to get her fitted for hearing aides..hopefully before this baby arrives! The test itself was more stressful for her and the audiologist was concerned that if she responded so adversely to the headphone in her ear, she probably wouldn't be excited about big bulky hearing aides, even if they are pink and have sparkles on them. (yes, that's possible) :) The bottom line is, we're so thankful that her hearing loss is treatable and seemingly "fixable", but we're really disappointed that she'll have to endure yet another round of tests, and have to learn how to deal with another "thing" that's uncomfortable for her.

The most difficult part of the appointment was when Elizabeth said, "God needs to heal my ears!" I told her we were going to keep asking Him to heal them. I'm so thankful for her childlike faith and pray that her heart, like ours, would continue to be protected when God's ways are not our ways.

He is Risen!

Happy Easter from the Harms Family!