What's the real deal on Matt and I? We're tired. I think mostly we're tired of trying to get our footing, getting a little routine established, making plans and then everything getting blown out of the water. It's amazing how much easier it has gotten over the last 6 years (Elizabeth came into existence 6 years ago this month!) to hold our plans loosely, but I continue to feel like there is some way that we should be able to "prepare" ahead of time so that when E has another health crisis, we're not completely sidelined. But each time, though we're not as surprised and shaken, we are left scrambling to do silly things like do all the laundry that was "going to be done on Saturday", or grocery shop, mow the lawn, or clean the bathroom, pay bills, buy a mattress, figure out our 401K contributions...plan for Elizabeth's schooling...or a million other life things that keep not getting done, or canceling the few commitments we made when things were stable...and the process is rather exhausting.
At our core, we are less rocked by the ups and downs, but practically speaking, we look around and wonder if we'll ever climb out from under the pile! We're tired of being "needy", we're tired being unpredictable, undependable and so many days just incapable of doing it all. All the thank you cards unwritten, all the baby and birthday and wedding gifts unsent...all the emails un-responded to...I hope you know how dear you are to us even when we feel like we're on a different planet.
And finally, remember we found out we were pregnant with Hannah while Elizabeth was in the hospital in 2009? Well, into the middle of our chaos comes another miracle. In the middle of all of this, we are rejoicing in the wonderful news that we're expecting again. It is was a complete surprise, (no, we weren't "trying for a boy") and only serves to remind us just how much God is in control of our lives. I'm almost 11 weeks and still in the middle of 1st trimester ickiness, but this time around the nausea isn't as severe as it was with the girls, so I'm so thankful to be able to be mostly upright! Lord willing, our 4th little one will arrive sometime in August, just after Matt begins his research schedule thanks to the KL2 Grant he received earlier this year! He'll have much more flexibility in his schedule and God knows, we'll need it!
So we are still very much in need of your prayers. For rest, for wellness, for wisdom, for grace. We know God's purposes are good and we know He loves us and He shows us regularly through YOU how faithful He is.
Tonight as I go to sleep, I will remember so many things that we're thankful for...
~A new life growing in me!
~Hannah Mae, the "world's happiest baby!" she's so flexible and content.
~Ruby, my little helper, our prayer warrior and burden bearer. She is an amazing sister to Elizabeth and Hannah.
~Matt, I'm so thankful God have me such a strong, steady, faithful husband and father to our girls. His incredible insight into Elizabeth's health issues has been amazing. And he can fall asleep ANYWHERE! So for now, I don't have to stay in the hospital!
~A private room on the 10th floor. Once again, a private room is like a kiss of kindness from heaven.
~A yummy casserole delivered to my door by a super busy wife of a med-student & working mommy of three! Amazing!
~A precious friend, who came to my house and helped me clean all afternoon and into the evening, so we could start the week on better footing....you, my friend, are the best.
~Elizabeth, strong, brave, cheerful, flexible. She makes this so much easier than it could be!
We sing this song over our girls each night as we put them to bed. Tonight, we pray it would be true for you as well.
The Lord bless you and keep you.
The Lord make His face shine upon you.
And give you peace,
And give you peace,
And give you peace forever.
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